Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
