Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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