no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I checked into jail on foursquare
you will always have a special place in my vag
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
