If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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