So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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