We won't sleep together?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
