Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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