Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize