You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
