Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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