My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize