totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Even my vagina gasped.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
