When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
