so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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