dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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