I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
