dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
