I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
