Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
