My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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