you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize