the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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