why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
