I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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