I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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