This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
