the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
