my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
