Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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