R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you had me at cake vodka
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
