six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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