Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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