How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
