Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
