where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
