First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
