Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
