your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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