shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
