well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
