Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
