i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
