I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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