You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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