she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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