Rock
Scissors
Fuck
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
