drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
