i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
how drunk are you?
Several
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