chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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