and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's rum buckets o'clock
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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