Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
