About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
