Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
