The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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