How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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