dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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