I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
