Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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