I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
