i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
