Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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