didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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