i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
