$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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